


Curses or Blessings

by Girl_in_Japan



Category: RDG | Red Data Girl
Genre: F/M, Gen, Prequel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-05-28 07:43:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6320665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Girl_in_Japan/pseuds/Girl_in_Japan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yukariko Suzuhara might be a normal teenage girl… or she might not be. At the middle school, she’s just another third year and a member of the kendo club. But at home at Tamakura Shrine, her sick mother refuses to see her and her overdrawn father is only home a few nights a week. When a strangely charismatic young man named Yukimasa comes to town, he tells Yukariko that she has the power not only to save her mother but to change the world. What is she capable of? And more importantly, is Yukimasa trustworthy?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the first chapter! I have all sorts of ideas about what comes next, so hopefully I'll be able to continue this project to the very end!
> 
> Yukariko and Yukimasa's relationship has always fascinated me. We know so little about them personally, Yukariko in particular, but it's obvious that they have a close relationship of some sort. In RDG 1, Yukimasa seems to be very familiar with Yukariko's house. He also mentions having helped her out a number of times. I got the impression that he and Yukariko were in a situation a lot like Izumiko and Miyuki's when they were younger. That's where this fan fiction began at least. Since then, I've developed a much more complicated head canon that's still unfolding in my mind! I had to write it down and now, here it is! I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> A note on the time frame- The first RDG book was published in 2008. If we assume that the story was also intended to take place in 2008 and Izumiko was 15 at the time, she would have been born in 1993. The next number is arbitrary (no canonical information) but we do know Yukariko was relatively young when she had Izumiko so let's say Yukariko was 20 when her daughter was born. That would make Yukariko's birth year 1973. Yukariko is 15 when this story starts, putting the year at 1988.

**1988**

“So, you see, what I’m saying is… I really like you, Yukariko, and I want us to go out!”

Fifteen-year-old Yukariko Suzuhara blinked and stared at the boy who had just more or less yelled his confession at her. He looked back with determined, hopeful eyes.

The object of his affections wanted to groan.

This was not what she had agreed to when Kousei Takeda had asked her to help him in the clubroom. In fact, they weren’t even _near_ the clubroom. Halfway to their destination, Kousei had taken her hand and dragged her towards the science lab instead. They were currently standing in the deserted hallway outside the room.

Yukariko had no problem helping Kousei with whatever club errand he needed to do. However, she did have a problem with being tricked into listening to a confession.

In Kousei’s defense, there was nothing wrong with him.

Far from it, most of the girls in their middle school would have considered him a catch. Not only was he a third year and president of the kendo club but he was tall and attractive with a bright smile that mirrored his cheerful disposition. He would be an ideal boyfriend… for someone else.

Yukariko wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. For one, she didn’t have the time but more than that, she just wasn’t interested in Kousei or any of the other boys in the school. They had all grown up together, attending the same small, mountain school with the same, unchanging group of classmates since first grade—the school was so tiny it could only boast one class per grade level.

Then there was the fact that Yukariko had always found more in common with boys than girls. That wasn’t to say she didn’t have any female friends or disliked all things feminine—she was rather fond of her thigh length hair which she always kept in a long braid down her back—but she had always gotten along better with her male classmates. She was one of three girls on the kendo team. She hated when anything in class was assigned by gender. And she generally spent more time with her male friends than her female ones. Back in grade school, she had once cut class to set off firecrackers by the river some of the boys, Kousei included. Just the summer before, she had spent a Saturday with the same group, passing around a contraband bottle of beer behind the only convenience store in the town. Maybe she just hadn’t spent enough time getting to know them but she didn’t think any of the girls in her class would be interested in doing such things.

Yukariko needed a little thrill in her life and that was difficult to find in a town known for spiritual pilgrimages into the mountains. Hanging out with the boys was the closest she could get. The idea of dating one of them felt like, at best, breaking some sort of unspoken rule. At worst, it had the same sort of appeal as dating a sibling. Either way, she didn’t want to do it.

“Kousei,” Yukariko put a hand on his shoulder. As her fingers connected with the fabric of his shirt, she could feel him start ever so slightly under her touch. It seemed like a rather strange response considering that he had no problems with her bashing him over the head daily during practice.

“I’m flattered by your offer but I’m not interested in having a boyfriend right now.”

Kousei’s face fell. “But I can’t see myself going out with anyone but you!”

“And I can’t see myself going out with anyone at all.”

She sighed and readjusted her glasses. She knew Kousei. He wasn’t going to give up easily. She couldn’t remember the last time she had found herself in a situation quite as uniquely frustrating as this one. She wanted to feel bad for him. She knew he had put a lot on the line to bring her here today and say what he had said. But that didn’t change the way she felt. She didn’t want to date him.

“We’re friends. We have a good time in the club and when we hang out, right? Don’t mess it up.”

“But—”

“Don’t mess it up,” Yukariko repeated, her tone suddenly blunt and final. What else could she do to knock this fantasy out of Kousei’s head?

Before she could say anything else though, the door to the breezeway opened and a middle aged man stepped inside. Recognizing him as their kendo coach, Mr. Sekiguchi, Yukariko and Kousei quickly stepped away from each other. Neither of them wanted to bring their teacher into their personal business.

Either oblivious to the situation he had come into or choosing to ignore it, Mr. Sekiguchi smiled as he walked over.

“Oh, good. I found both of you. I’ve been walking around the school, looking for the team. I’m sorry to give you such short notice but something’s come up and I’m going to have to cancel practice today,”

 Yukariko couldn’t have dreamed of a better distraction to get Kousei’s mind off of the current subject.

“Aw, man. Really?” Kousei complained. “What about the tournament next month? This is crunch time! Can’t we do the practice without you?”

She stayed quiet and let him argue. Truthfully, she didn’t care one way or another if practice was cancelled. The prospect of getting out of an afternoon with Kousei after his confession wasn’t a bad one either.

Mr. Sekiguchi shrugged. “Usually I’d say yes but you guys practiced an hour later than you were supposed to yesterday. You need some time to catch up on your school work and see your families.”

Practice had gone late the night before? Yukariko blinked. No one had told her that.

“But my family saw me this morning!”

“That might be true but as a father, I can tell you that your parents will be pleasantly surprised when you walk through the front door at four for once instead of six like last night.”

“My dad lives in Nagano!”

“Well then, your mom will be pleasantly surprised.”

Yukariko began to relax as she watched the familiar situation play out in front of her. Mr. Sekiguchi and Kousei were always arguing but it was common knowledge that the kendo coach was Kousei’s favorite teacher and Mr. Sekiguchi liked Kousei too.

The two of them continued to bicker back and forth until the bell rang a minute later, signaling the end of the lunch break.

“I’m sorry but you’re not convincing me otherwise. Practice is canceled. Go home. Do your homework. Help your mom make dinner. But for now, go to class. See you in sixth period history.” Mr. Sekiguchi excused himself with a nod to both of them and headed towards the teacher’s room.

Kousei turned back to Yukariko. “About what I said before…”

They weren’t starting this again. “It’s math next, right?”

He nodded, frowning. “Yeah, but—”

“I still have to put my lunch stuff away and get my math books out. See you in the room.” And with that, Yukariko left. 

~*~

Yukariko liked having a desk next to the window. It made her feel less boxed in in the classroom to know that she was only surrounded by people on three sides instead of four. The anonymity of being placed in the middle of the row was pleasant as well. Plus, it meant that she could get away with staring out the window when lessons got boring.

Feeling the butt of a pen gently poke into her side, Yukariko turned away from the window. Sawa Suemori was leaning sideways out of her chair in order to reach her with the pen. Math had just ended and everyone around them was putting their things away and getting ready for history.

Having gotten her friend’s attention, Sawa straightened up and withdrew her pen. She turned her body to face Yukariko so that her feet were in the aisle that separated their desks.

“Hey, did Kousei ask you out during lunch break?” Her voice was quiet so as not to draw attention to their conversation but Yukariko could still hear the excitement in the other girl’s voice.

She frowned. “Where’d you hear that?” If word had gotten out already, it would be all over the school before the end of the day. That was the last thing she needed.

“I didn’t really hear it anywhere,” Sawa admitted.  “But Kousei was acting kind of strange when he asked you to go to the clubroom with him and everyone’s always kind of suspected that he likes you so…” She shrugged, grinning. “Am I right?”

Sawa was a small, soft-spoken girl but what she lacked in self-assertion, she made up for in observational skills. She was the most perceptive person Yukariko knew and she liked that about her. Back in grade school, it had been Sawa who had saved the class pet when she had noticed the rabbit wasn’t eating. Everyone else had just assumed their classmates were doing a good job of keeping the food bowl full, not that the food wasn’t being touched. They never would have gotten the animal to the vet in time without Sawa’s calm observations. These days, Sawa used her abilities to excel in all her classes. She was also a prominent member of the art club although she had turned down offers to become the president or vice-president this year.

Yukariko glanced around the classroom. When she was sure no one was listening to them, she gave a small nod. “He did,”

“I knew it! What did you say?”

Her frown deepened. She absently pulled her long braid over her shoulder and slid a gentle hand down it. The familiar length was comforting. She had never cut her hair in her life. “I turned him down.”

“I thought you might,” Sawa said, nodding. “I can’t see you with a boyfriend. You’re too independent.”

It felt good to know that Sawa knew her so well. “That’s more or less what I told him,”

Sensing her friend’s discomfort, Sawa changed the topic.

“Did you find Mr. Sekiguchi? He was looking for you and Kousei.”

Yukariko nodded. “Yeah. He found us. Thank God.”

Sawa laughed. “So what are you going to do with that extra hour? Are you going to call the shrine and ask you dad to pick you up early?”

Yukariko paused. Her life was a strange one. Of course she hadn’t known practice had run late the day before. How could she have when she left at 4:45 on the dot each day regardless of whether or not the other students were finished practicing? Most of her classmates lived in town within walking or biking distance of the school but she lived at Tamakura Shrine far up on top of the mountain which shared its name. Every day, her father, Takeomi Suzuhara, drove her half an hour down the mountain to school and then at five o’clock sharp after kendo club, he drove her the half hour back.

That in itself wouldn’t have been too strange. It wasn’t that unusual to come from a family of Shinto priests. What was unusual about Yukariko’s living situation was that she was the only one who lived full time at the shrine. Technically, her father and grandfather, respectively assistant head and head priest of the shrine, lived there as well. But both Takeomi and the senior Hiroshi Suzuhara split their time between the mountain and the family’s second home in town where Yukariko’s mother lived.

According to her grandfather, Sakurako Suzuhara had always been prone to sudden illnesses even as a child. Just like Yukariko, she had grown up on the mountain where she could be in the fresh air. But after giving birth to her daughter, her chronic illness had gotten progressively worse. Sometime around Yukariko’s first birthday, Sakurako had moved down into town where she could be closer to the hospital and the medical care she required. Concerned by their daughter-in-law’s health, Takeomi’s parents had agreed to move into the house with her and act as caretakers.

Since then, Yukariko had barely seen her mother once a year despite the fact that her school was no more than a fifteen minute walk from where her mother lived. She saw her grandparents on occasion but every time she visited the house, her mother always seemed to be sleeping or too weak or ill for visitors. That never stopped Takeomi or Hiroshi from seeing her though. Throughout the week, they took turns staying at the house overnight while the other stayed at the shrine with Yukariko. Sometimes when Yukariko was in a particularly bad mood, she found herself thinking that her father and grandfather loved her mother more than her. But as Sawa had said, she was independent. She didn’t need anyone’s love.

She still wished that she could see her mother more often though…

Mr. Sekiguchi’s words in the hallway had struck a chord with her. She had an hour before her father would arrive at the school to take her home. Maybe she would spend it with her family.

“Actually, I think I’m going to use it to take a walk…”

Sawa raised an eyebrow. “A walk?”

Yukariko considered Sawa to be a good friend but she still preferred to keep her private life to herself. It was bad enough that the whole school and the rest of the town knew that her mother was ill and lived away from the shrine because of it. Yukariko didn’t need people knowing every time she tried to visit her mother on top of that.

“I don’t know. It’s a nice day and I know I won’t be ready to sit in a car or study in the library once school’s over.”

It looked like Sawa wanted to say something more but after a moment’s hesitation, she only shrugged. “That sounds like a good idea. Most likely, there’s only going to be a few more weeks of nice, crisp fall weather. After that, we’ll have those cold winds coming down from the mountains. I bet it’s already cold up at the shrine. You should enjoy the weather while you can.”

“Yeah,” Yukariko nodded. It was October and it was cold at the shrine already just like Sawa had suggested.  

“Well, enjoy your walk. Stay warm! We all get kind of cold in the art room after school seeing as we’re not really moving around…”

Sawa idly chattered on about the art club as they pulled their books out for history, the last class of the day. But Yukariko was barely listening. Her thoughts were on the afternoon ahead of her. Was her mother feeling well today? Would she be able to see her? Yukariko hoped she wasn’t at the hospital for a doctor’s appointment. That had happened a few times when she had visited with her father before.

When history ended, Yukariko managed to stay calm and bow with the rest of the class when they said goodbye to Mr. Sekiguchi. The cleaning period was a blur though. When homeroom finally came to an end, she gathered her things and left the school without as fast as she could.

The walk to her mother’s house was a pleasant one but arguably, everything was pleasant about a small town cradled in a mountain valley. The Japanese cedar trees that covered most of the mountains in the area promised green scenery no matter the season. While the valley couldn’t boast as many cedars as the mountains, the lack of green was more than made up for by the vibrant orange and red leaves that were scattered across the narrow streets of the town.

Yukariko headed away from the school and down a maze of narrow, residential streets until she reached the oldest part of the town. Here, the houses were surrounded by tall hedges and wooden arches instead of cement walls and metal gates. The houses themselves weren’t any bigger than their neighbors’ a few streets away but they were certainly grander. Even the new, modern houses that were starting to appear here and there across town couldn’t compare to the ones on this street.

Her mother’s house was near the middle of the neighborhood. It was smaller than some of the others, but it had a large, beautiful garden around it that her grandmother had taken upon herself to care for.

Arriving at the property, Yukariko paused at the gate for a moment before pushing through and heading towards the front door. This was no time for doubts. She was going to see her mother today. She hadn’t seen Sakurako since New Year’s and she couldn’t remember when she had seen her before then. It was time to fix that.

She stepped up to the front door and rang the bell. Then she stepped back, her determination rising.

A minute later, her grandmother opened the door. The woman’s eyes widened as she took in Yukariko’s form.

“Yukariko! Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine, Grandma. My club was canceled this afternoon so I thought I’d visit Mom before Dad came to pick me up.”

For an instant, her grandmother’s eyes appeared to widen even further. Then her expression fell. Yukariko could feel her stomach dropping just as fast. She knew that expression.

“I’m so sorry, darling. Your mother isn’t feeling well today. She just managed to doze off. I don’t want to wake her… Will you come in for a cup of tea if you have time though? I’d hate for you to have come out here for nothing.”

“No,” Yukariko shook her head. For all the time she had spent mentally preparing herself to see her mother this afternoon, she was surprisingly calm to hear her plans had come to nothing. She supposed it had to do with how many times she had been turned away before. This was normal. It would have been more surprising to be admitted into her mother’s presence.

“I’ll just go back to school. It would be bad if I was late and Dad had to wait for me. He’s coming back here tonight, right?”

“That’s right,” her grandmother agreed. “He was with you last night, so he’ll be here tonight. Sakurako's looking forward to seeing him.”

“I’m sure she is.”

They stood in silence at the door for a minute, each uncomfortably trying to come up with some sort of small talk.

“I guess I’ll go back now,” Yukariko finally said.

“It’s getting colder out. Make sure you wear enough layers.”

Her grandmother’s words strangely reminded her of what Sawa had said earlier. Or maybe it wasn’t so strange. Weather was small talk. Sawa liked to chatter. Her grandmother just had nothing better to say to her.

With a final nod, she turned away from the door and began to head back towards the gate.

“Your mother loves you, you know.”

Yukariko stopped. The words felt like they were burrowing into her chest but not in a pleasant way. They made her feel empty.

Slowly, she turned around to face her grandmother. When their eyes met she said calmly, “Does she?”

Then she left, closing the gate neatly behind her.

It took longer to return to school than it had to arrive at her mother’s house. All the same, she still got back with twenty minutes to spare. She spent the time at a second floor window, alternately studying her English textbook and glancing outside to see if her father had arrived.

Sometime while she was waiting, a boy around the same age as her stopped to lean against the cement wall of the hobby shop across the street. His hair was a light brown—clearly bleached.

The first time she noticed him, she paid him no mind. Plenty of students waited there for their friends after school.

The second time she noticed him, she realized he wasn’t a student at the school. He couldn’t be—she didn’t recognize him and dyed hair wasn’t allowed.

The third time, she could have sworn he was looking at her.

But that would have been impossible.

Just before five, her father pulled up in front of the school and Yukariko went down to meet him.

As she slid into the car, her eyes landed on the manga she had left on the backseat that morning. What a relief. She had talked to enough people today. Having reading material in her hand would deter her father from trying to strike up a conversation.

Maybe.

“Did you have a good day at school?” Takeomi asked, glancing back at her in the rearview mirror.

Yukariko shrugged and buckled her seatbelt. “It was fine,” She had no intentions of telling her father that Kousei had confessed.

“Did practice go well?”

She flipped through the manga's pages.

“It was canceled.”

“If you had called me, I would have picked you up earlier,” Takeomi said. He sounded almost disappointed.

Yukariko slid down a little in her seat, getting comfortable for the ride home. “I didn’t mind. I had things to do.”

She was well aware that her grandmother would tell him exactly what she had been up to that afternoon as soon as he walked through the front door that evening. That didn’t mean she had to tell him herself though. She knew how her father worked. He didn’t talk to her about her mother and in return, she didn’t talk to him about her either. The short visit would never be brought up in conversation between the two.

As Takeomi pulled away from the school, Yukariko glanced across the street through the car window to see if the boy was still there. He was. Almost as if he sensed her gaze on him, he turned his head and caught her eye.

She stifled a gasp.

He smiled.

And then she was gone, on her way back up the mountain.  


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter! Thank you so much to everyone who read, commented, and/or gave me a kudo for the last one! Your support means so much to me!
> 
> While I have a good outline of what I want to see happen in the story, I'm still sorting out little details here and there. As a result, I've changed a few things in chapter 1 since I originally posted it. If you read chapter one in the past few days, you probably read the corrected version. However, if you read the chapter right when it was posted last week, you might want to check this list of changes:
> 
> 1\. I originally said Yukariko was in the 9th grade. I'm not not sure why I Americanized her grade level. I clearly wasn't thinking. I've switched it to the correct, Japanese equivalent--middle school 3rd year.
> 
> 2\. When Mr. Sekiguchi points out that Kousei's parents will be happy to see him home early, Kousei now replies by saying his dad lives in Nagano prefecture. (Yukariko's town is in Nara prefecture so Kousei's dad lives far away.)
> 
> 3\. When Yukariko gets into her father's car, she picks up a manga, not the originally specified Walkman.
> 
>  
> 
> That's all! I hope you enjoy the second chapter!

**Chapter 2**

Who was he?

Who was the boy with the bleached brown hair?

One look in his eyes and Yukariko couldn’t think about anything else but him. It didn’t matter that he was no longer in sight.

The boy had been attractive—even she would admit that. He had looked like he had walked out of a fashion magazine or maybe off the cover of a boy band album. His hair had fallen agreeably into his mischievous eyes when he had smiled at her and the leather jacket and jeans he had been wearing could have been designed especially for him, they had fit so perfectly. If he had been wearing sunglasses with the outfit, she might have sworn he a celebrity in disguise.

But it was more than his good looks that had caught Yukariko’s attention. Maybe it had been his smile or the expression on his face but there had been something almost… magnetic about the boy. The moment their gazes had met, she had felt a sudden desire to speak with him. She wasn’t an overly social person. She certainly didn’t go out of her way to chat with strangers for no reason. And yet, the idea of talking with him had felt oddly second nature as if she only needed to be reminded that they were already good friends.

She had never met him in her life.

In a town as small as the one Yukariko lived in, everyone knew everyone else. Either someone was family, a friend, a coworker or a classmate… or they were the family of a friend, a coworker, or a classmate. If there was a stranger in town, it was only because they were on their way to visit the shrine on Mt. Tamakura. Besides the occasional traveler on a spiritual pilgrimage though, even that was rare outside of the festival days.

But the boy hadn’t looked like he was a on a spiritual journey.

Perhaps he was a visiting relative?

Yukariko frowned, trying to remember if anyone at school had mentioned a cousin or relative coming for a visit. That would have explained why he was waiting outside the school. Or maybe he was a grandchild of an older member of the community and had been looking for someone his own age to spend time with. She tried to match his face with someone in town but came up with no one.

Who was he? Why was he here? And what made him so intriguing?

Out of nowhere, Yukariko felt the familiar jolt of the car turning off the road and then the rumble of tires over gravel filled her ears. The half hour drive home was already over. They were back at the shrine.

She looked around in surprise. The school buildings and roads that had just been outside her window were now gone, replaced with towering trees and the giant torii that welcomed visitors to the shrine. At some point, the manga had fallen out of her hands but she hadn’t noticed. If her father had tried to speak to her, she hadn’t heard him either. Every fiber of her being had been focused on brown haired boy.

She shook her head a few times, trying to pull herself out of the spell he had seemingly woven over her. Even so, the short trip from the car to her house behind the shrine felt almost surreal. The birds in the trees were louder than they had been that morning and the breeze carried an uncanny chill. She might have walked this path a million times before but putting one foot in front of the other on the carefully placed stepping stones suddenly felt strange to her.

“I’m going right back out to see your mother. I just have to tell your grandfather that we’ve returned.”

Her father’s words snapped everything back into focus. Nothing was out of the ordinary. The birds were just birds and there was always a breeze this high up on the mountain.

Yukariko paused and turned around to face him.

“Already?” Usually he spent an hour or so at home before driving back down into town for the night.

He gave her an apologetic smile. “I got a call from the house just before I left to pick you up. Your mother has something she needs to discuss with me.”

If her father had received a call from the house sometime before leaving to get her, there was a good chance he already knew—or had reason to suspect—her attempted visit that afternoon. She searched for any sign of knowing on his face but there was nothing. Either he truly didn’t know or he didn’t care. A gnawing feeling in her gut told her it was the latter.

Pushing down the unexpected bubble of anger that began to well up in her chest, she continued down the path to the house without another word. If her father didn’t want to talk to her about her mother, that was fine but he didn’t have to act like what she did didn’t matter to him.

The house Yukariko called home was an old building that had lodged generations of head priests over more than a hundred years. It was small and drafty with little things that always needed to be fixed inside and out but she liked it well enough. Or at least, it was some place to live.

She kicked her shoes off in the entrance way leaving them strewn across the floor in her rush to get up the steep, wooden stairs and into her room. It was a relief to push the door closed behind her and fall back onto her bed.

She hated her father for putting her mother first and she hated her mother for constantly turning her away while welcoming her father. She hated Kousei for ruining their friendship and not listening to her. She hated the boy with the bleached brown hair for getting into her head. And she hated herself for letting all these people get away with everything they were doing to her.

Yukariko groaned and rolled over so that she was staring up at the ceiling.

Her life was unnecessary. Why had her parents even bothered to have her if they were never around?    

Beyond the distant birdcalls outside, the only sound in her ears was the quick, rhythmic beating of her heart. She listened, carefully breathing in and out in time with it. Eventually, the beating calmed and so did she. She was still frustrated from the day’s events but now she was too tired to care.

Letting out a sigh, Yukariko sat up and glanced at the clock. It was nearly six now. Her father was long gone, probably half way back to town already.

Pulling herself off the bed and skillfully avoiding the mess on the floor, Yukariko padded back downstairs and into the living room. Her eyes rested on the TV. The brainless game shows that were usually on around now sounded just right at the moment. After a minute of hesitation, she reached towards the remote.

“Don’t even think about it.”

Yukariko jerked back and spun around to find her grandfather standing at the door into the kitchen. He was glowering at her, daring her to try the remote again.

“But I want to watch TV!” she complained.

Hiroshi Suzuhara lumbered into the living room and picked up the remote. “I don’t want you touching it. There’s a critical baseball game on this weekend and the last time you tried to change the channel, it took me a week to fix the damn thing. What do you want to watch?”

Yukariko rolled her eyes and sat down on the couch. “I don’t know. Anything. Something pointless.”

She couldn’t argue with her grandfather. Anyone who knew Yukariko well knew about her disastrous relationship with technology. Almost every time she tried to use something more complicated than a telephone, whatever it was had the tendency to stop working or malfunction unexpectedly. Sometimes the problems only lasted until the item in question was pulled out of her hands. Other times, such as with the TV, the results were a bit more permanent. It wasn’t that she mishandled or outright tried to break anything. Technology simply… broke on its own around her.

Just as her grandfather had said, she had broken the television last month when she had tried to change the channel. Before that, she had destroyed a string of Walkmen, both her own and her friends’. (It had pained her to do it but she had since given up on listening to the few tapes she owned.) A school VHS player had also fallen victim when a teacher had asked her start a video for class. No one would lend her anything electronic anymore and her friends jokingly swore they’d rather die than let her touch their Sega consoles. They laughed and said that she was cursed but as far as Yukariko was concerned, she really was. It was the only explanation she could come up with to describe what was wrong with her. Luckily, as curses went it wasn’t a bad one. She could live without technology in her life. And for all the times she wanted it, someone else could work whatever it was for her.

Hiroshi sat down next to her and turned on the TV.

“Want to talk about it?” He began flipping through the channels.

Yukariko glanced at him.

“Talk about what?”

“Whatever happened today. You’re in a mood.”

She was quiet for a minute as she watched the channels flash by on the TV. Finally, she answered.

“I tried to see Mom.”

“Is that so?” Hiroshi didn’t sound surprised. Nothing much ever seemed to surprise him. It was one of the things Yukariko loved the most about her grandfather. “Did you see her?”

“No.”

He nodded. “What went wrong this time?”

Yukariko rolled her eyes and told him.

Hiroshi nodded again. The channel landed on a children’s anime. A blue cat was trying to comfort a crying child. Hiroshi glanced inquiringly towards Yukariko but she shook her head and he continued channel surfing.

“Are you going to try again tomorrow?”

Yukariko let out a snort. “That would be a complete waste of time. I only tried today because practice was canceled and I didn’t have anything better to do until Dad came.”

“So you had a reason for going.”

“I guess.” Had she? She wasn’t sure.

Hiroshi leaned back against the couch’s cushions and kept clicking. He had been through the entirety of the short channel line-up at least three times now but neither of them seemed to care. His eyes never left the TV ask he spoke.

“You’re a lot like your mother in some ways, you know. You’re both very intelligent. You think things through. Has it ever occurred to you that there’s a good reason Sakurako doesn’t want to see you? What if she’s contagious? What if she doesn’t want to scare you with her condition?”

Yukariko looked at her grandfather in alarm. “Mom’s contagious?!”

It was the first detail she had ever heard about her mother’s illness. A bolt of fear flew through her. She had always just assumed that her mother was simply the sort of person who managed to catch every bug that came her way. The idea that she could be ill with an actual disease…

It was Hiroshi’s turn to snort. “Of course not. If she was, your father and I wouldn’t visit her every day and she’d be in the hospital for real.”

“Oh,” The fear disappeared as quickly as it had come although it left behind the empty, tired feeling she had learned to attribute to her mother. She slouched against the cushions and returned her attention to the TV. The blue cat and his boy reappeared for a second before blipping back off the screen, replaced with the afternoon news. That was gone a second later as well.

“I was just giving you an example,” Hiroshi continued evenly. “You might not understand why now, but your mother does everything for a reason. If she doesn’t want to see you…” He sighed. “There’s a reason. Think about that, okay?”

He stopped on a channel where a group of people were playing human horseshoes. Five people stood out in a field while a sixth person threw giant, foam U’s at them in hopes of wrapping the props around the people.

“Is this pointless enough for you?”

Yukariko nodded, letting herself get sucked into the game playing out in front of her. “Yeah. This is good.”

Her grandfather patted her on the shoulder and stood up. “Dinner’s in a half hour.”

~*~

Kousei was waiting just inside the gates for Yukariko when she arrived at school the next morning.

She gave him a wary look as he called her name and jogged over but she said nothing. They headed towards the doors together.

“I was hoping to catch you this morning. I’m glad I did,” He grinned at her although it was easy to see the uncertainty hidden beneath the expression. A second later, the smile disappeared, leaving nothing but the nervous look.

“I, uh, was thinking about what we talked about yesterday.”

Yukariko had braced herself for this as soon as she had heard him shout her name. They had unfortunate, unfinished business to settle. She only wished she knew how to make him realize no meant no.

“I heard what you said about being friends and not wanting to date. Really, I did,” He looked sideways, unwilling to meet her eyes as he spoke. “And so maybe… maybe you’re right. If you don’t want to date then we should just be friends.”

Yukariko stared at him. This was not the way she had expected the conversation to go. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” He nodded, glancing towards her and somehow managing to summon up another smile. It was smaller than the last but more confident. “We’ve been friends for a long time. We see each other every day. If it’s between you hating me for the rest of our lives and us just staying friends, friends seem like the obvious option.”

Something didn’t seem right. This was too easy. His words sounded like something out of a soap opera. What wasn’t he telling her? She stopped and looked him squarely in the eye.

“Fess up.”

Kousei stared back at her for a moment, his face strangely blank. Then his cheeks began to flame and his eyes dropped to the ground.

“My… mom found out about what I… told you yesterday.”

“She _what_?” Yukariko let out a whoop of laughter. And with that, she knew the awkwardness between them was over. His mother had successfully seen to that whether she had meant to or not.

Yukariko had met Kousei’s mother plenty of times over the years. Mrs. Takeda, a bright, outspoken single mother who ran the local beauty parlor, was a regular face at most school events Kousei participated in. She expected great things from her son… but occasionally still treated him like he was five years old. Finding out about Kousei’s confession had probably been gold to her.

“What did she do?”

Kousei groaned. “God, she laughed at me for about two hours,” he said, scowling down at his feet. “And then she called me an idiot for not listening to you.”

“You _are_ an idiot,” Gentle would never be a word used to describe Yukariko.

A smirk flitted across Kousei’s features. “Well, whether I am or not, Mom made me swear to apologize to you for being one. She seems to think I wasn’t listening when you said no.”

“You weren’t.”

“Stop interrupting!” He gave her a playful shove which she returned. They laughed and continued on their way to the doors.

“Anyway, she asked me to invite you over for dinner sometime to make it up to you.”

That was something else Yukariko hadn’t expected. “Like, dinner with you and your mom?”

Kousei nodded. “And my little sister, yeah. She wants to make sure I haven’t totally blown it with you.— I haven’t, right?” He glanced at her warily as he asked but she shook her head.

“No,” It was a relief to admit it to him as well as herself. As much as she had wanted things to go back to normal after the confession, she had been at a loss of how to do that. And yet somehow, hearing about Mrs. Takeda’s rampage had cleared the air between them in an instant.

But Yukariko still wasn’t going to let him get away so easily. “You probably would have if your mom hadn’t saved your butt though.”

“Hey!”

They laughed again as they reached the doors and stepped inside.

“So will you come to dinner?” Kousei glanced at her hopefully.

“I want to but I don’t think I’ll be able to.”

It was the truth. Yukariko had never been invited to a friend’s house for dinner before. Living so far up the mountain made things difficult when it came to hanging out with friends. Her father was willing to drive her to school and school related events but he was too busy between the shrine and her mother to shuttle her back and forth to town whenever she wanted. Most of her friends at school understood this and she almost never got invitations to go anywhere. When she did, they were only for Sunday afternoons or during breaks when transportation was usually less of a problem.

“My mom wouldn’t mind driving you home if you walked over after school,” he offered.

Yukariko shrugged and opened her shoe locker. “Maybe. I’ll think about it and talk to my dad,”

Kousei nodded and stopped in front of his own locker. “Sounds good. I’ll see if Mom has any dates in mind.”

He slid his feet into his school shoes and put his sneakers in his locker. As he turned to go, he stopped and turned back to her one more time. “The guys and I are going to play soccer during the lunch break. You will too, right?”

Yukariko nodded, pleased with the normal invitation. “I’ll be there.”

They both headed towards the classroom.

Homeroom that day began with an announcement from their teacher.

“As you should know by now, the school marathon is coming up in less than a month.”

There was a chorus of groans from across the classroom but the teacher paid them no mind.

“The boys’ and girls’ routes will be posted within the next week but I can tell you now that they’re the same as they were last year. Normal practice starts on Monday during gym class. However, the track and field team is also inviting people to run with them on Saturday afternoons starting this week. Take advantage of that and build up your stamina so you can get a better time during the actual marathon. You’re all third years. Don’t you want to do better than the younger students?”

A few students grumbled their agreement.

The teacher looked down at his notes and then back up at the class. “That’s all on the marathon for now. Today’s class helper, can you pass back everyone’s English notebooks?”

The class erupted into voices as everyone turned to their friends to talk about the upcoming event. Yukariko looked out the window, running her fingers through the tail of her long braid in contemplation. She could almost swear she saw a head of familiar brown hair out on the street.

~*~

After lunch, Yukariko changed into her warm up suit, slid her braid down her jacket’s back, and ran out onto the school grounds for the promised soccer game. Some of the others were already standing by the far goal, deep in discussion. She headed towards them, catching part of the conversation as she approached.

“—been around for the past few days at least. Maybe the whole week?” a boy named Junichi was saying.

Kousei shook his head. “I don’t think it’s been that long. But the real question is what he’s doing at the school.”

“Yeah,” Shou, another boy on the kendo team agreed. “Maybe we should tell the teachers.”

“Forget the teachers,” Junichi shot back. “We should deal with this on our own.”

“You make it sound like he’s a delinquent looking for a fight,” Kousei said. “What if his family just moved into town and he’s trying to check out his new school?”

When Kousei noticed Yukariko approaching, he brightened. “Hey! Have you heard about the guy in town yet?”

“There’s a lot of guys in town,” Yukariko pointed out, leaning against the goal.

Kousei rolled his eyes. “The new guy. The guy with the weird brown hair.”

The memory of his smile sliding by her car window came immediately to mind. She stared at Kousei with a new intensity.

“He was outside the school yesterday when my dad picked me up. I saw him across the street.”

Shou’s eyes widened. “Really? He’s there again right now!”

“Now?” Yukariko immediately straightened up and glanced towards the road. At first, she didn’t see anything. The school grounds were busy with students trying to get a little time outside during the break and beyond the gates, there were a few cars driving by, obscuring her view. But then a second later when the cars disappeared, she saw him.

“Give me a minute.”

Without any further explanation, Yukariko made her way across the grounds and towards the gate. She had to talk to him. The way he had burrowed himself into her thoughts yesterday with no more than a glance bothered her. There had been something strange about their split second interaction. Or maybe, there was something strange about him. Whatever it was, she couldn’t put her finger on it. But now she was going to get the answers she needed.

When Yukariko was half way across the grounds, the boy noticed her approach and pushed himself off the wall he had been leaning against to meet her at the gate. Once they were standing face to face with only the metal bars separating them, he gave her the same lazy smile he had the day before. And just like the day before, Yukariko was overcome with the inexplicable feeling that she already knew him and thus, could trust him.

“I was hoping you might come over to say hello, Yukariko.”

Yukariko hadn’t known what to expect when she had decided to confront the stranger but she certainly hadn’t expected him to know her name. Some of the bizarre trust she felt in him disappeared and she took a step back. The rational side of her brain reasoned that no matter how his smile made her feel, she really didn’t know him. She had no reason to trust him.

“How do you know my name?” she demanded.

“I know a lot of things,” His smile never faltered. “Mt. Tamakura truly is a beautiful place, isn’t it? You’re very lucky to have grown up on it. But I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m here to talk with you about something very important.”

There was no reason why a stranger would come all the way out to Yukariko’s tiny town to talk with her. She was fifteen years old and she lived on top of a mountain. In all truths, she should have been entirely anonymous to the world outside of her town.

“Who are you?” Yukariko pressed. She wouldn’t listen to a word he had to say until she knew who he was, why he was here, and what he wanted with her.

“You’re much prettier than I expected,” he continued, ignoring her question again. “But where’s all that long hair I’ve heard all about?”

Yukariko’s cheeks colored in indignation as her hand flew to her braid self-consciously. She didn’t like this. She didn’t like how much he knew about her. And she didn’t like _him_ … although that strange feeling in her heard was still whispering she should.

“Ah, there it is,” His smile grew. Yukariko’s expression hardened.

“I don’t know who you are and I don’t trust you,” she stated flatly. “My friends back there,” she waved a hand behind her at the boys next to the goal. “are debating whether to tell the teachers you’re here or deal with you themselves. But the way you’re talking now, I think I should skip both of those options and just call the police this instant. Not only are you loitering outside of a middle school but I think you might be stalking me.”

The boy let out an annoyingly melodious laugh. “I’m not a stalker, Yukariko. Didn’t I tell you? I’m here to help. You see, I know some things about you that even you probably don’t know. And I know about your mother’s condition. With my help, you could make all her troubles go away.”

Her outrage flared. How dare he come here and act like he was doing her a favor just by showing up. She didn’t know him. And while he certainly seemed to know _about_ her—which only made her opinion of him worse—he didn’t know her either.

“You’re making that all up.”

Yukariko couldn’t help her mother because no one could. Sakurako was sick and the boy couldn’t do anything to change that. He definitely couldn’t do anything to help Yukariko change that either seeing as her mother wouldn’t even see her.

“But I’m not,” he responded calmly. “I’m telling you nothing but the truth.”

Yukariko had had more than enough. “Look buddy. I don’t know who you are or what you want but—”

The bell signaling the end of break began to chime. She only let it stop her for an instant.

“But I’m not going to buy into whatever shit you’re selling. Leave me alone.”

Not waiting for him to answer, she turned on her heal and strode back towards the school.

“Yukariko.”

She didn’t know why she did it, but she stopped and spun back around to him.

“ _What?_ ”

“My name is Yukimasa Sagara. I’ll be waiting here this afternoon if you want to talk.”

“I won’t want to.”

Yukimasa shrugged. “But you never know.”

Giving him one last hostile look, Yukariko headed back into the school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlike Izumiko who seems very wary about her inability to use technology, I imagine Yukariko seeing it more as a personal challenge. 
> 
> Teacher: Yukariko, can you start the video?  
> Yukariko: You want me to do it? Sure. Let's see what happens.  
> -VHS player breaks-  
> Yukariko: Huh. Still can't touch that stuff.
> 
>  
> 
> For my readers who actually owned and listened to Walkmen/cassette tapes- Imagine the amount of tapes her Walkmen probably ate over the years. Am I dating myself?


	3. Chapter 3

Fifth period Japanese passed in a blur as Yukariko sat at her desk, loathing Yukimasa Sagara and his unsettlingly calm, pleasant smile. Yesterday she had only suspected that there was something different about him. Now she knew for sure. 

First off, he was an over-confident asshole. Yukariko didn’t know anyone else who could have gone up to an absolute stranger and started spouting off information about that person which they had obviously gotten through less than savory routes. Worse than that, not only had he had outright ignored all of her questions but he hadn’t even told her his name until she had started to walk way.

Then there was the matter of what he knew about her. Her name, where she lived, her mother… Where had he gotten that information? Her friends seemed to be under the impression that Yukimasa had been in town for a few days now but there was no way he had spent that time asking around after a teenage girl. That certainly would have garnered unwelcome attention on his part. If he had managed to ask the right questions to one, right person though… Yukariko frowned. If anyone could do something like that, she had a feeling it would be Yukimasa Sagara.

During the break between fifth and sixth period, Yukariko turned to Sawa and asked, “Have you ever met someone that made you want to trust them the instant you met them?”

Sawa looked back at her in confusion. “Like a policeman or a teacher?”

Yukariko shook her head. “No. Like a total stranger you just feel like you know already for no reason at all.”

Sawa considered the question. After a minute, she answered.

“When I was in grade school, my mom brought me up to visit your shrine and go for a hike in the woods. When we had been up on the trails for a while, we came to a bench at an overlook point. Mom decided to sit down and look at the view for a while. I was just a kid and I didn’t have the patience to sit as long as her so I wandered off. I must have been eight or something like that. I hadn’t gone that far, maybe only around a bend, when I met this old woman who was walking the trails too. She was all bent over with a walking stick but there was no one there with her. And her clothes were the kind of stuff our grandmas wear when they’re doing spring cleaning,” She giggled. “You know, monpe pants and a handkerchief over her hair… But for some reason I knew I could trust her. She came right over and asked where my mom was. When I told her, she said I should go back so I did. I thought the woman would end up walking by the bench eventually—she was coming in our direction. I wanted to introduce her to my mom. But she never showed up.”

Sawa was quiet for a minute. Then she smiled at Yukariko. “It was a weird experience but it still makes me smile. You live up there. Did you ever see an old lady like that?”

Yukariko shook her head. “We do get a lot of older people who pray at the shrine but they don’t usually walk around on the trails.” Not many people did.

“Oh,” Sawa shrugged. “I wonder who she was then. But why do you ask?”

For an instant, Yukariko considered telling Sawa the whole story. If she didn’t know about Yuikimasa Sagara already—or the weird brown haired boy as Kousei had put it—she would soon. Gossip as unusual as this would spread through the entire school by the end of the day. And unfortunately, Yukariko had become a part of it as soon as she had gone to talk to him. After all, her friends hadn’t been the only ones watching. It would probably be better if Sawa heard it from her directly.

After a moment’s hesitation though, she decided not to say anything. She didn’t want the other girl to think she was going crazy or placing herself in danger. For the time being, Yukariko had to ponder the mystery of Yukimasa Sagara on her own.

She shook her head. “I don’t know. It was something that came to me while we were reading that last passage in the book, I guess.”

Sawa glanced over to Yukariko’s Japanese textbook. It had remained unopened throughout the entire class but neither girl commented on it.

“I guess reading literature has a way of making people think deep thoughts,” Sawa conceded although she was clearly unconvinced.

During sixth period, Yukariko mulled over the stranger things Yukimasa had said to her. What could he possibly know about her that she didn’t? And how could he help her and her mother? Every time Yukariko thought of Yukimasa’s promises, she scoffed. She knew there was no truth behind his words. He had been grasping at straws in an attempt to catch her interest, using his knowledge of her mother’s condition against her. That was all.

So why couldn’t she stop thinking about what he had said?

By the end of school, Yukariko’s anger had turned into scornful, grudging curiosity. Even if everything he had told her was a lie, she needed to know why he was lying. What could he gain by scamming a girl like her? Either he was the dumbest con artist in the world or he had a very good reason for what he was doing. Yukariko had to find out which one it was.

When afternoon homeroom was over, Yukariko packed up her bags and prepared herself to meet Yukimasa at the gates. She would have to skip kendo practice to do it but she really didn’t care. It didn’t matter in the long run. If Yukariko didn’t talk with Yukimasa though, she’d never forgive herself for not finding out what he wanted. She didn’t want a mystery like that hanging over her for the rest of her life.

She sent word with Shou to the clubroom that she would not be attending practice that day. Then she made her way towards the gates.

The front of the school was crowded with students talking and getting ready to go home for the day.

Yukariko stopped short outside the door, suddenly seeing the flaw in her plan. She didn’t want to draw any more attention to herself than she already had. Even now, she could hear the whispers behind her. Meeting Yukimasa at the gate twice in one day would make her the topic of gossip until she graduated if not longer. That was the last thing she wanted.

Quite truthfully, Yukariko didn’t care that much about her reputation. What she did care about though was her privacy. Between her long hair which she had never cut and her home at the mountain shrine, everyone already viewed her as a little unusual. The only reason they overlooked her oddities was because she was an active member of the school community. If she was seen with a stranger at the school gates a second time though, the anonymity she had managed to cultivate over the years would disappear in an instant. She’d be forever under the curious eye of her schoolmates and nothing she did would go unnoticed again.

So instead of walking to the gate, Yukariko stood her ground at the door and scanned the road for Yukimasa. She found him faster than she had before. He was still standing across the street. He also happened to be watching her.

As soon as their eyes met, Yukimasa gave her his signature smile and gestured for her to follow him. He then turned around and started walking down the street. Clearly, he wasn’t interested in drawing attention either.

Yukariko smirked and followed after him, making her way out of the school grounds. There was no way someone like Yukimasa could avoid attracting attention. It was easy to see she wasn’t the only one affected by his magnetism. Boys and girls alike were shooting furtive glances at his retreating form, some less furtive than others. She was sure they had been watching him since they had left the school building.

She followed him down one street after another, always making sure to stay far enough away that anyone who might see them wouldn’t think they were together. And while Yukimasa never looked back, he seemed aware of her presence. He was never out of sight for more than a few seconds after turning a corner and he slowed down or paused when she fell behind. They silently made their way across town.

After ten or so minutes, Yukimasa came to a stop in a secluded grove of trees next to the river. Yukariko knew the place well. Its easy access to the shallow water made it an ideal spot to catch crayfish. Most summer afternoons, there was a crowd of children here playing in the shade and splashing around in the river. Even Yukariko had spent her fair share of time in the water when she had been younger. But that had been years ago. Since her last visit, someone had placed a bench under the trees, creating a tiny park feel.

Now though, the riverside paradise was deserted in the mid-October chill. There were no children, no crayfish, and no leaves on the trees. It was just Yukimasa and the bench in front of the shallow river.

Yukariko paused where the road ended and the grass began. Her actions were beginning to dawn on her. It had been one thing when she had agreed to meet Yukimasa at the gate after school. But now they were completely alone in a place no one was likely to find them. She hadn’t told anyone where she was going because it hadn’t occurred to her that it might be necessary.

What if he was a murderer? What if he was something _worse_?

She watched him from the road. He stared back at her for a few seconds, his expression as casual as ever. But when she didn’t come any closer, he turned away and sat down on the bench, letting his gaze rest on the water a few yards away.

“Your father will be at the school by five to pick you up, right?” he said, glancing over his shoulder at her. “I’d really like to get you back by then. If we don’t start talking soon though, I’m afraid I won’t be able to explain everything to you in the time we have. I’d be happy to come back again tomorrow to explain the rest but you don’t seem to like loose ends.”

She didn’t.

Her uncertainty wavered. Yukimasa was right. Her father would come to pick her up at five. She was never late. If she didn’t show up at the gates within a few minutes, she was sure he’d come looking for her. Granted, plenty of things could go wrong between now and five, and who knew how long it would take her father and the authorities to find her if the worst happened, but that inexplicable trust she felt towards Yukimasa was at work again. She had every reason to feel threatened by this situation… but she didn’t particularly feel any danger.

Letting out a quiet, exasperated sigh, Yukariko straightened her glasses, smoothed her uniform, and joined him in the trees.

He smiled at her and patted the seat next to him.

“I was raised in the mountains, you know. I feel most at home surrounded by trees. Nothing calms me like the sound of running water. But I’m quite partial to the bustle of Tokyo as well.”

Yukariko frowned as she sat down. “Those are complete opposites.”

He nodded. “I do like a little variety in my life,”

They were both quiet for another minute as they stared at the water. Eventually, Yukimasa spoke up.

“I’m glad you decided to talk with me. I apologize for not satisfactorily answering your questions earlier. We didn’t have a lot of time and I wanted to make sure I told you enough to catch your interest. I wanted to make sure this meeting would happen.”

Yukariko refrained from rolling her eyes. He hadn’t answered her questions at all. Maybe he had told her his name in the end but it hadn’t been because she’d asked.

“Let me start from the beginning,” Yukimasa continued. “My name is Yukimasa Sagara and I’m an Ascetic monk.”

She frowned, picturing the ascetic monks she had met throughout her life. They had all been elaborate traditionally costumed, middle-aged and elderly men who came to the shrine during festivals. Her father had once explained to her that they spent most of their lives praying and training in the mountains, strictly limiting their contact with the modern world. Yukimasa didn’t fit that definition of an ascetic monk at all.

“Aren’t you a little young to be one?” She looked him up and down. He was wearing the leather jacket from yesterday again. He looked like he belonged on a runway, not meditating under a waterfall.

“It takes skill and ability to become an ascetic monk, not age,” he replied. “However, that’s a good lead into what I want to talk about. You see, there are two types of ascetic monks. There are the type that simply live and pray in the mountains and preserve a traditional, religious institution. And there are the type that live entirely normal lives except for the ancient, forgotten arts they practice.”

“Ancient arts?” Yukariko’s mind was filled with martial arts and fully armored samurai on horseback.

The response he gave her was completely unexpected.

“Magic.”

“What?” She stared at him.

“Well, that’s not the term we use, of course. We generally refer to it as spiritual power or energy. It comes from nature after all. That’s why ascetic monks are often called mountain monks. It’s also why they’re usually linked with hermits in the mountains. There is so much spiritual energy in nature, especially on a sacred mountain like yours. You only need the know-how and ability to tap into it.”

He looked fondly up at the mountains around them.

Yukariko stared harder, unable to believe a word she had just heard. He was crazy. How in the world had he gotten here? More importantly, why had he chosen her to seek out? No wonder he had said he could help her mother. He thought he could do magic.

“You cast spells.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement dripping in skepticism.

“Oh, no, no,” Yukimasa shook his head. “I chant sutras, not cast spells. Spells are territory for diviners, necromancers, and maybe even mediums but not ascetic monks. You’ve grown up at a shrine. You should know what asceticism is.”

“Asceticism is the connection between Shintoism and Buddhism,” Yukariko replied flatly, more interested in defending what she knew than actually sustaining the conversation. “It was outlawed during the Meiji era.”

Yukimasa nodded. “That’s right. So Asceticism is entirely based in religious teachings. No room for spells here.” He laughed lightly.

That was it. Yukariko had heard enough. She couldn’t believe she had skipped practice and followed a stranger off school grounds to be lectured about magic and religion. Forget murder. He was obviously trying to recruit her to a cult.

“I’m sorry. I have to go.”

She grabbed her bag off the ground, stood up, and started walking back towards the road. If she hurried, she could probably even get a little practice time in before her father came.

“Wait! What if I could prove all of this to you? I haven’t explained how you’re connected to all of this yet either.”

Yukariko stopped and turned around. He hadn’t risen to follow her but for once, his expression didn’t look as if he was about to win a poker game. She took some pride in this, pleased that she had finally managed to break through his self-assured smile.

“I’m not interested in joining your magic religion. Don’t talk to me again. And if you try to bother any of the other students with this, I really will call the cops.”

“Let me just show you,” Yukimasa begged, finally standing up.

She groaned. “Fine.”  At this point, she’d agree to anything if it meant he’d leave her alone.

To her frustration, his smile instantly returned. He closed his eyes and began to chant words that, while still Japanese, sounded ancient and far away from the language they both spoke.

At his words, a gentle breeze rustled across the river, coming down from the mountain. It began to pick up as Yukimasa's voice grew. The fallen leaves danced across the ground. With every passing second, the wind intensified. It whined through the trees like a winter storm then turned to a howl, answering Yukimasa’s call. Yukariko found herself clutching an arm around her chest for warmth and holding onto her glasses. Her braid whipped around behind her as she squinted against the wind, watching the chanting boy with shock and amazement. The leaves swirled up, around and around under the tree like a tiny cyclone.  

Just when the gust grew so strong that Yukariko had to brace herself against it, Yukimasa said one more, powerful word and the wind disappeared in an instant. It was as if there had never been any at all. The leaves fluttered back to the ground, the air around them unnaturally silent. There were no birds. No breeze. No people. Nothing.

They stared at each other; Yukariko’s eyes wide in astonishment, Yukimasa’s calm, waiting.

“Will you listen to me now?” he asked after a minute.  

 Yukariko nodded wordlessly. She slowly made her way back to the bench.

Yukimasa sat down and she followed suit.

“You’re an Ascetic monk.”

“Yes.”

“Who chants sutras.”

“Yes.”

She looked at him. “So what does this have to do with me?”

“That’s the most important question,” Yukimasa agreed. “You see, both your father and your grandfather are Ascetic monks, just like me.”

Yukariko hadn’t thought Yukimasa could surprise her any more than he already had. “No they’re not,” she disagreed. “They’re Shinto priests.”

“Before the religious split during the Meiji era, Tamakura Shrine used to worship both Buddhist and Shinto deities. It was forced to choose one or the other during the split but that doesn’t mean the priests and priestesses there gave up their beliefs. Your grandfather was raised as an Ascetic monk here on Mt. Tamakura. Your father trained in the famous Dewa Mountains before coming here. They’ve only accepted the title of Shinto priest now because they work at a Shinto shrine. It’s safer that way.”

“Safer from what?” Yukariko asked.

Yukimasa shrugged. “It’s just safer. For them and for you.”

“We’re in danger?” Even though she knew she wouldn’t see anyone, she looked around. They were still alone.

Yukimasa’s response was, once again, vague. “Yes and no. I’d say mostly no though. You’ve been very well hidden and taken care of for all these years. But there are still plenty of people and organizations that would be interested in getting their hands on you if they knew where you were. Have you ever wondered why you took that extended vacation to Mt. Yudono in the Dewa Mountains when you were ten?”

In fact, Yukariko often _had_ wondered about that trip.

“Dad’s hometown is at the base of Mt. Yudono.”

At least, that was how her father and grandmother, who had also joined them on the trip, had explained it. While she didn’t doubt the validity of the statement, the trip had occurred without warning two days into her third grade summer break and had lasted not only through the rest of the vacation but two weeks into the next semester. It had been difficult to catch up with the school work she had missed but it had been even more difficult to understand the reason behind the missed school when the people around her had acted like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

“Perhaps, but that’s not the real reason you went to Mt. Yudono back then. That was the only real time you’ve been in any danger. They moved you for your own safety. There are plenty of Ascetic monks in those mountain. If your father had needed help protecting you, he would have had plenty. You returned when the threat was over. But of course, they wouldn’t have told a ten year old that.”

The idea that she had ever been in danger sent a bolt of cold dread down Yukariko’s spine. “What was I in danger from?”

Yukimasa shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I was only twelve at the time and going through my own training in the mountains.”

So he didn’t know everything. The thought was both soothing and disconcerting.

Yukariko frowned and looked down at her lap. “Why do all these people supposedly want me so badly?”

It was clear from his expression that this was really what he had been waiting to tell her. Yukariko instinctively braced herself.

“You’re a vessel for a very powerful spiritual being.”

After everything Yukimasa had told her, she couldn’t go as far as to say she didn’t believe him. If her father and grandfather were Ascetic monks in the same way Yukimasa claimed to be, why couldn’t she be a vessel for a powerful spiritual being? She just… didn’t know how to comprehend the news.

Ascetic monks were something she could understand. She had seen them. She had a general knowledge of what they did and who they were, even with the new abilities Yukimasa had shown her.

But spiritual vessels…

“What does that mean?” she asked quietly after a minute.

“Not much at the moment,” Yukimasa admitted. “Your mother is actually the goddess’s—the spiritual being’s—current vessel. You’ll eventually become her next vessel though.”

His words created a hundred questions in her mind. What exactly _was_ a vessel? Her mother was involved with this too? Why them? Was this so called goddess the reason her mother was sick? When would Yukariko become the next vessel?—When her mother was dead?

As if reading her mind, Yukimasa answered one of the questions she was frantically wondering.

“As the current vessel, the goddess speaks and acts through your mother when she has a message to convey. She effectively takes over your mother’s body for however long she needs it and then retreats when she’s finished.”

“You’re saying the goddess possesses her,” Yukariko clarified.

“I think that’s an ugly word for what she does but yes, I suppose that’s right.”

It was a difficult notion to accept. For one, she didn’t want to imagine her poor, frail mother being possessed by anything. As much as she claimed indifference towards Sakurako, she was still her mother. Yukariko wouldn’t wish this mysterious spiritual possession on anyone... including herself. But if Yukimasa was right, she would be the next one to house this so called goddess.

She wasn’t sure if she liked that idea.

“She lets herself be possessed by the goddess?” she asked quietly.

“I’m not sure if it’s entirely voluntary,” Yukimasa admitted. “You would have to ask your mother that.”

“…Does it hurt?”

This time, his voice was softer. “Again, you would have to ask your mother.”

Yukariko nodded. Of course Yukimasa wouldn’t know details like these. She wasn’t even sure how he knew any of this. Maybe it was common knowledge between the Ascetic monks. Maybe she was the only one who didn’t know.

Before she could decide what question to ask next, Yukimasa looked down at his watch and sighed.

“It’s quarter to five. You should get back to the school. Do you want to go back on your own? Or I could walk with you if you’d like. I’d rather keep our association quiet for the time being though. We’d have to go back the same separate but together way we came.”

She looked at him in confusion. “But you said my father is an Ascetic monk too. Doesn’t he know you?”

“We’ve been introduced,” Yukimasa nodded. “But I’d still prefer to keep our meeting quiet for now. Please don’t tell your father or your grandfather that we’ve met. They wouldn’t like that I’ve told you what I have.”

Yukariko frowned. She had a bad feeling about all of this but she nodded her agreement anyway. “Fine. But you have to answer one more question for me.”

Yukimasa’s smile returned. “Of course.”

“Why are you telling me all of this now if my father and grandfather don’t want me to know?”

His smile grew. “Because I’d like your help.”


	4. Chapter 4

** Chapter 4 **

He wouldn’t say what he wanted help with.

As much as Yukariko had insisted, Yukimasa had remained firm. He would tell her anything she wanted and more the next day. But at that moment, she had to go back to school.

“I can’t raise your father’s suspicions by keeping you any longer. Besides, what you want to know can’t be explained in a sentence or two,” he had told her. “We’ll talk again tomorrow.”

The mystery of it all had been enough to keep Yukariko up all night. She was a vessel for a spiritual being named the goddess but she barely knew what that meant. Her mother was the current vessel and her father and grandfather were Ascetic monks, not the Shinto priests they claimed to be. Magic, apparently known as spiritual power, was real…

It kept going like that.

With all the questions and thoughts flying through her head, Yukariko hadn’t drifted off to sleep until nearly the break of dawn. Even then her slumber had been light and restless.

When she got up the next morning, it felt like there were hundred pound weights tied to her limbs. Despite the physical exhaustion though, her mind continued to run a mile a minute, trying to make sense of the goddess and everything else Yukimasa had told her.

At school, she didn’t even notice Kousei’s approach until he took her sneakers out of her hands and neatly put them away in her locker for her.

“You look like hell. What happened?”

Yukariko glanced at him in surprise, wishing she had heard him walk up. At least then she could have tried to appear a little more alive than she felt.

She couldn’t tell him the truth so instead she said the first thing that came to mind. “I was studying until late for the math test,”

“But I thought you said you were going to do alright on that one,” Kousei said with a frown. They moved towards the classroom.

She _had_ said that. It was the upcoming history test that would be harder and they both knew it. But there no going back on the excuse she had made.

“Maybe I said I’d do alright because I knew I’d have to stay up all night studying,” she challenged.

His frown deepened and he opened his mouth as if to say something but then closed it again. An instant later though, his face brightened. “Did you ask your dad about coming over for dinner?” he asked. “I talked to my mom and she said you could come over on Friday. Or if that’s too soon, Monday would be okay too.”

Yukariko blinked. She had completely forgotten about invitation in light of Yukimasa’s appearance. “I—I haven’t asked him about it yet. I’m sorry.”

Kousei’s expression fell a little but he still looked hopeful. “That’s okay. Just ask him when he picks you up today. I know how hard it can be for you to make plans, what with living on the mountain and all. But it would suck if he said no because he didn’t hear about it in time.”

“Sure.” She nodded. It felt strange to be making something as normal as dinner plans after learning everything she had the day before. Still, she supposed she didn’t stop being a middle schooler just because she had found out she was so much more.

~*~

That afternoon when the last bell rang, Yukariko rushed out of the school before anyone could stop her. Assuming all of what Yukimasa said was true, she needed to know everything he could tell her. She wouldn’t let this so called goddess catch her unaware.

As promised, Yukimasa was waiting for her on the bench next to the river.

“You’re earlier than I expected,” he said, looking up from his book.

Yukariko dropped her bag next to the bench and sat down. “Keep talking.”

He chuckled and closed the book. “Very well. You’ve had plenty of time to think over what I said yesterday. Do you have any pressing questions you’d like me to begin with?”

She had more questions for him than she could count. The longer she had contemplated Yukimasa’s words, the more she had realized how little he had actually been able to tell her so far. The new future looming in front of her was frightening and she needed to know more. The favor Yukimasa was clearly expecting at the end of all this hovered at the back of her mind as well.

She pushed ahead anyway.

 “Who’s the goddess?”

“An incredibly ancient and powerful spirit that the Ascetic monks have sworn to protect,” Yukimasa answered. “As her vessel, we’re sworn to protect you as well.”

“And why am I a vessel?”

“The women of your family have served as the goddess’s vessels for generations.”

That explained why her mother had been chosen as a vessel despite her weak constitution. She had been born into the role just as Yukariko obviously had.

As she thought of her mother, she was suddenly reminded of the original reason she had agreed to speak with Yukimasa.

“What did you mean when you said you could help my mother?”

Yukimasa’s ever-present smile grew.

“I didn’t say _I_ could help your mother,” he reminded. “I said you could with my help.”

“Then tell me how to help her,” Yukariko pressed.

He nodded. “From what I understand, the goddess doesn’t harm her vessels in any way. In fact, she rarely uses them. But when she does have something to say or do, her appearance can be very… taxing on the vessel. These episodes can’t be good for your mother’s health. All the same, I’ve been told she intends to uphold her responsibilities for a while longer. If you were to assume those responsibilities for her though…”

“You’re suggesting I become the goddess in my mother’s place.”

The pieces were beginning to fit together. Anyone who learned about the goddess might be interested in obtaining her power for themselves. At the moment, her mother was the one with access to that power but someday Yukariko would take Sakurako’s place, making her a potential target as well. That was probably the danger Yukimasa had been hinting at.

If Yukariko took over her mother’s responsibilities as the vessel, Sakurako wouldn’t have to worry about the goddess anymore. She didn’t know if that would make her safer but Yukimasa was probably right. It might improve Sakurako’s health exponentially to be free of the goddess’s control.

The help Yukimasa wanted was also becoming clear. If Yukariko became the goddess and he was with her, he would be the one with access to all that power. And while he claimed to be an Ascetic monk, the same group that was supposedly sworn to protect the goddess and her vessels, he was also here secretly and asking that she keep it that way. He was looking for more power. But what was he planning to do with it?

“Don’t you want to become the goddess?” Yukimasa asked. “Think of all the power you’ll have. You’ll be helping your mother too. There are no downsides.”

No downsides? Yukariko wasn’t sure about that. She didn’t want a goddess possessing her whenever the spirit felt like it. Yukariko was her own person. She didn’t want to give up her freedom just because it happened to her fate as a female member of her family. And what about school? Her life? She had plans. She had to graduate so that she could attend a high school in a city. She had to get out of here. The mountains were beautiful but she had known this wasn’t her place for almost as long as she could remember. If she became the goddess, there was a good chance she’d be tied to this little town for the rest of her life, just like her mother.

But her mother had been sick her whole life. Yukariko hadn’t… They might have both been vessels but maybe their fates could still be different.

“What do you know about my grandmother?” she asked suddenly.

“Your grandmother?” Yukimasa repeated, confused.

“My mother’s mother. She was the vessel before my mom, right?”

“Oh, yes,” Yukimasa collected himself, finally catching her meaning. “She was. But I don’t know anything about her. Why do you ask?”

“I just thought maybe if you knew anything about her time as the vessel…”

Her grandmother had died before Yukariko had been born and her grandfather, Hiroshi never talked about her. Yukariko wondered what had she done with her life as the goddess’s vessel. Had she been stuck in the mountain town too? …Had the goddess had something to do with her early death? The possibility sent a shiver down her spine.

“I’m sorry,” Yukimasa truly sounded as if he regretted not being able to tell her more. “I have a friend who specializes in research though. I could call and see if he might be able to come up with some information.”

Yukariko shook her head. It had been a long shot. More than that, she didn’t want to get anyone else involved in this. She could handle keeping secrets with one Ascetic monk but the idea of involving a possible second made her head spin.

“Thanks, but no. It doesn’t matter. It was just a thought.”

She gazed at Yukimasa. It was obvious from the cautious anticipation on his face that he was hoping she would agree to become the goddess’s vessel. It wasn’t as easy a decision as he was making it out to be though. It would benefit her mother but at what cost to herself? Would she become the one confined to her paternal grandparents’ house in town? She didn’t even know what her mother did all day. She doubted Sakurako slept as much as her grandmother claimed. Did she read? Study? Talk with Ascetic monks who came to seek audiences with the goddess? Or Yukimasa had mentioned that the goddess gave messages. Maybe she spent her days writing down the words of the spirit who possessed her like some sort of strange prophet. No matter what situation Yukariko imagined, it wasn’t anything she wanted for herself.

But at the same time, she already knew that her mother’s life would eventually be hers whether she liked it or not. The only choice she seemed to have in the matter was when she became the goddess and even that seemed to depend on her mother’s wishes to a point.

Did she want to relieve her mother of her responsibilities now? Or did she want to avoid a life of servitude for as long as she could?

They lapsed into silence as Yukariko thought and Yukimasa waited.

After some time, Yukimasa gently touched her on the shoulder. “It’s four forty five,”

Yukariko didn’t argue that day. “Alright,” She picked up her bag and rose from the bench.

“I’ll be here again tomorrow if you want to talk more,” Yukimasa said. “But I’d understand if you need to get back to your normal afterschool routines. Just think about what I’ve told you. When you make a decision one way or another, come find me. I’ll always be around to talk. I’ll tell you whatever you need to know to make your decision.”

“Okay.” With a final nod, she began her walk back to the school.

Talking with Yukimasa the day before had been like opening a door to an exciting, albeit somewhat frightening future. It had all been real and yet it hadn’t at the same time.

Talking with him today had made the reality of the situation come crashing down on her. This wasn’t some adventure novel. This was her life and the unanswered questions were unbearable. What would it be like to have the goddess possess her? Would she have a choice? When would the possession start? How would it change _her_?

One thing was clear. Yukariko didn’t want anything to do with the goddess. She didn’t care about the power it would bring her. All she wanted was her life.

But she did want to help her mother.

Now that Yukariko knew about the goddess, she wanted to talk with Sakurako even more than before. Yukimasa might have been able to give her a general idea of what it meant to be the goddess’s vessel but Sakurako actually _knew_. She could answer every single question Yukariko had, no matter what detail it was.

Would gaining her mother’s attention be enough to risk sacrificing all the plans she had made for her life? She still didn’t know how her grandmother had lived with the goddess in her but somehow she doubted it was much different from how her mother lived now. If she knew for sure that accepting the goddess would take away her plans for the future, she’d never agree to it no matter how much it could help her mother. But the fact was that she didn’t know anything for sure. Yukimasa had said that the goddess’s appearances were rare. Maybe she’d barely be affected by it.

Yukariko sighed, seeing the school come into view. After so many years of wishing her life was more interesting, she suddenly wished that everything could be boring again. At least then she had known what to do.

She walked through the gates and settled onto the bench by the front doors to wait for her father.

As usual, the car rolled up a few minutes before five. Her father greeted her with the usual questions about school.

“How were classes today?”

“Fine,” In all truth, she couldn’t remember a single word her teachers had said during the day. Her mind had been entirely wrapped up in the goddess.

“And practice?”

“Uneventful.” That was an understatement seeing as she hadn’t gone for the second day in a row.

Luckily, Takeomi didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary.

“We had a tour group come to the shrine today,” he said as they drove away. “Now that UNESCO’s considering the possibility of making the shrine a world heritage site, we’ll be getting more tours like that, I think. Isn’t that great?”

“Yeah, it is.”

It was. The ancient shrine deserved more visitors than it got. Unfortunately, its mountain location kept most tourists away. She knew her father and grandfather were thrilled by the idea of the international recognition the shrine could get. It would go a long way in giving the shrine the care and attention it deserved. It might even make living at the shrine feel more normal if there were more daily visitors.

Speaking of normal…

“Hey, Dad? One of my friends invited me to dinner on Friday. Can I go? He says his mom’ll drive me home.”

Takeomi glanced back at her in the rearview mirror. “Who invited you?”

“Kousei. Or really it was his mom.”

Takeomi considered the prospect for a minute and then nodded. “Sure. You should spend more time with your friends.”

A small smile crossed Yukariko’s lips. If her life was going to spiral out of her control sometime in the unknown future, she was glad she could live a normal life now.

“You said Friday?”

“Yeah, so in two days.”

He nodded again. “It’s my turn to stay at the house in town so that works out. Just make sure not to stay out too late. Your grandfather will have to wait up for you.”

“Sure.” She doubted she’d be too late. If she went to Kousei’s house right from practice, they could hang out until dinner and then his mother would probably drive her back right after that. She’d probably be home by nine at the latest.

“Why’s his mother inviting you over anyway? He’s not your boyfriend, is he?”

“No!”

Yukariko glowered as Takeomi laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact- Tamakura Shrine is based on a real shrine named Tamaki Shrine. It was registered as a UNESCO world heritage site in 2004.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's reading my work! And an extra special thank you to everyone who commented on the last chapter! I love hearing what people think about the story!

** Chapter 5 **

The upcoming dinner at Kousei’s house was exactly what Yukariko needed to refocus her attention on the daily life she had been neglecting. For the first time since talking to Yukimasa, she felt as if she could allow herself to think about something other than the goddess. One day the spirit would define her life but for now, she was just a normal, middle school girl.

That evening, Yukariko worked on the homework she had been putting off. She ate dinner and watched TV with her father before taking a bath and going to bed. While the goddess still remained a constant thought in the back of her mind through all of it, she no longer let the spirit consume her thoughts like she had before.

It was harder to ignore the tugging uncertainty when she was lying in bed that night but she still managed to drift off eventually.

Thursday was easier. She took notes. She ate lunch with Sawa. During the break after lunch, she played soccer with her other friends. When the last bell rang, she paused and looked towards the gates, feeling Yukimasa’s captivating pull urging her towards the river again. But then, just like her thoughts of the goddess, she pushed the feeling away and went to kendo practice instead. She didn’t need to see Yukimasa right now. She needed to come to terms with what he had already told her. And while she wasn’t entirely sure if that was what she was doing by ignoring the whole situation, she still felt better than she had in days.

By Friday, everything almost felt like a bad dream.

Kousei met her by the locker rooms after practice.

“All ready?” he asked, grinning. Yukariko stared back at him, her own expression flat.

“You definitely look like you are.”

She had been looking forward to dinner at Kousei’s since Takeomi had given her permission to go. Now that the day had come though, Yukariko was suddenly nervous. It had been a long time since she had visited any of her friends’ houses and it would be the first time that she had dinner at one. While she knew Kousei’s family well enough, she had no idea what to expect at their dinner table. She only knew what to expect at her own.  

“Of course I’m ready! We just finished practice. I’m starving! Time to go home and eat!”

It took them exactly six minutes to walk from the school gates to Kousei’s house. They talked about classes and the upcoming kendo tournament on the way. When they arrived at Kousei’s front door, Yukariko groaned.

“Can we trade or something? You can live at the shrine and I’ll live here. I’m sick of that long car ride twice a day. It takes me longer to walk to my car at the shrine than it takes you to get to school!”

Kousei laughed as he ushered her inside. “Hell no. Sorry but you couldn’t pay me to live up on your creepy mountain. Your house is something out of a horror movie. Every time you show up at school I’m surprised you made it another night without some vengeful spirit possessing you or eating you alive or something.”

Yukariko let the irony of his comment slip by.

Like most of the houses in town, the Takeda’s house was small and old and its entryway reflected both of these facts. The space was narrow and dark, closed off from the rest of the house by a wooden door meant to keep the elements from coming in any further. It was lit only by the glow coming from the inner door’s clouded glass window and a yellow tinged overhead light that didn’t do much to combat the darkness of the space’s stained wooden walls. The gray slate tiles just inside the door were worn with age and the shoe cabinet that seemed to take up half the space available was scratched and abused from decades of people bumping past it.

It barely felt like there was enough room for both of them to take their shoes off at the same time, but they managed. 

“Watch out for—” Kousei began to say but before he could finish, there was a pounding of feet from further inside the house and then the inner door burst open revealing Kousei’s little sister, Aoi.

Aoi Takeda was a third grader at the local elementary school. She had shoulder length hair and was rather small for her age. For the most part, she was shy around her brother’s friends and tended to stay close to her mother when they were around. Unfortunately for Yukariko though, being a girl, she was the one exception to this rule.

“You came, Yukariko!”

Yukariko stiffened as the little girl barreled into her and enveloped her waist in a tight hug. She didn’t like kids even when they were her friends’ siblings. She just didn’t know what to do with them. They all felt so foreign to her, spending their time running around and screaming. She didn’t get it. The fact that Kousei’s sister was so affectionate—something else Yukariko didn’t really get—only made it worse.

Unsure of what else to do and unwilling to return the hug, Yukariko patted Aoi awkwardly on the head. She was rewarded with a giggle.

“Kousei said you were coming, but I didn’t believe it because he’s a liar,” Aoi said, sticking her tongue out at her brother. He stuck his out right back at her.

Unfazed by the gesture, Aoi returned her attention to Yukariko. “Mom’s making tonkatsu tonight. Do you like tonkatsu?”

Yukariko nodded at the big eyes gazing up at her.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, good!” Aoi instantly untangled herself from around Yukariko and grabbed the older girl’s hand. A minute later, she found herself sitting at a small kitchen table already set for dinner.

The meal had not officially begun yet but the differences between dinner at the shrine and dinner at the Takeda’s was already striking. First off, it was barely five thirty and they were already sitting down. Seeing as the shrine only employed two part time workers to assist with daily tasks, there was always work for her father and grandfather to do well into the evening. Dinner was never ready before eight.

Secondly, seeing as Takeomi and Hiroshi were the only ones who cooked and neither of them were chefs by any extent, dinner was usually a variation of the same things over and over. Something as complicated as tonkatsu would never be attempted in their kitchen.

The table in front of Yukariko now was laden with family style bowls of stir-fried vegetables, pickles, and salad. The sauces and dressings they would need for the meal ahead of them had already been put out. And to top everything off, there was a bowl of rice, a glass of water, and an empty plate for the prepared food at each setting. The whole thing felt incredibly decadent to Yukariko.

“I got the table ready while I was waiting for you to get here,” Aoi announced proudly. “I really wanted to walk home with you but you guys had practice so I couldn’t.”  She pouted at the statement.

“Aoi’s been very excited about your visit since we suggested it,” Mrs. Takeda said, coming out of the kitchen.

Kousei’s mother was of average height and was neither plump nor skinny. She couldn’t be described as remarkably beautiful, but she was still attractive, sharing the same bright smile as her son and an intelligent look in her eye. She had a reputation in town for always being well-dressed and it seemed that she lived up to that expectation even at home. Despite having just made dinner, her hair was still perfectly styled into a cloud around her head and she was wearing a pink, mohair sweater with green pants.

She smiled at Yukariko as she placed the previously mentioned tonkatsu on the table and sat down. “How are you, Yukariko? It feels like it’s been a while since we saw each other.”

Yukariko smiled politely back Mrs. Takeda. “I’m fine. Thank you for having me.”

Her host’s expression turned mischievous. “It’s the least we could do after Kousei made such a fool of himself.”

“Mom!” Her son blushed at the comment and reached for the salad.

“Huh? What did he do, Mommy?”Aoi piped up.

Mrs. Takeda shook her head but the smile remained. “Don’t worry about it, darling,”

She pushed the tonkatsu towards Yukariko. “Eat up. Have as much as you’d like but leave room for dessert.”

After thanking Mrs. Takeda for the meal, Yukariko dug in. She couldn’t remember the last time she had eaten such a carefully prepared meal. Encouraged by the enthusiasm in which Kousei and Aoi were filling their plates, Yukariko did the same. When she finally started eating, she couldn’t help but let out a hum of appreciation. The food was delicious.

“So Yukariko, how’s your mother?”

Yukariko paused, doing her best to hide her surprise. She rarely talked about her mother to people other than her father and grandfather. Even when she talked to them about Sakurako, it was rarely conversational and more along the lines of the two men telling Yukariko what she needed to know.

Still with that said, her mother’s unsteady condition was common knowledge around town. In a community as small as theirs, anything was gossip worthy, including the ill woman living with her in-laws away from her husband and child. As the local hairdresser, Mrs. Takeda probably heard the town women whispering about Yukariko’s mother often. 

“She’s… fine.”

In all truth, Yukariko had no idea how her mother was doing but Mrs. Takeda didn’t need more gossip to bring back to work with her.

“She hasn’t been in the hospital recently, has she?”

Yukariko shook her head. “No…”

If Mrs. Takeda sensed any discomfort in Yukariko, she seemed oblivious to it. “Well then, that’s a good thing! She should get up and around town if she can. It’s always good to get some fresh air and find some new surroundings. That’s the best thing to do when you’re recovering from an illness, I always say. In moderation at least. You don’t want to make yourself sick again.”

Yukariko stayed quiet, choosing to take a bite of tonkatsu instead of responding. She couldn’t remember the last time her mother had left the property. Her father claimed Sakurako spent a lot of time in the meticulously kept garden but Yukariko had never seen her there. Her experiences with her mother had been limited to the house’s formal living room.

Mrs. Takeda continued. “I’d love to meet her sometime when she’s feeling up to getting out of the house. We moved here from Sendai when I left my husband and I was so used to being surrounded by people in the city. This seemed like a better place to raise kids but it’s not exactly bursting with people,” She let out a quiet sigh but then laughed and smiled. “I’m always happy to see a new face in my store. Send her my way sometime. Does she look like you? I bet she does.”

Yukariko considered the question. She supposed she and her mother had the same tall, fine boned frame but that was where the similarities ended. Her mother’s hair was painfully short—easy to take care of, she said. It was a far cry from long locks Yukariko had never cut in her life. Yukariko wore glasses while Sakurako didn’t. Years of illness had left hollows in her mother’s cheeks and an emaciated look to her already skinny frame. Kendo had put muscles on Yukariko’s.

“I think she did when she was my age,” it was the best answer she could think of.

Mrs. Takeda nodded, satisfied with the response. “It’s such a shame, her living down here in town while you’re way up on the mountain. But at least you can see her whenever you want, right?”

Wrong. “I’m pretty busy with school when I’m in town so I only get to see her sometimes,” It was only a half lie. This line of questioning was making her uncomfortable.

“Of course,” Mrs. Takeda nodded. “You and Kousei are such good students. I’m sure your mother’s proud of your dedication to your studies. I hope she can make it to your middle school graduation.”

“That would be… nice,” Yukariko wasn’t holding her breath. The most she could hope for on her graduation day would be if her father showed her mother a picture of the ceremony.

“Well, graduation isn’t for another six months,” her host said brightly. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. You two had your history test today. How was that?”

Yukariko let out a quiet sigh as the conversation dissolved into an easier topic.

“The essay question at the end was horrible,” Kousei groaned, immediately jumping on the opportunity to speak up. Yukariko had seen him picking boredly at his vegetables while the conversation had revolved around her mother. “But I think the rest went okay. Why do we have to learn about all this stuff in the past anyway?”

“Because we can learn from our prior mistakes and make the present better,” Aoi stated matter-of-factly. She looked at her mother for approval. Clearly the topic had come up before.

“Your sister’s exactly right,” Mrs. Takeda agreed. “Nothing will change for the better without acknowledging what was wrong in the past. Wouldn’t you agree, Yukariko?”

“Y-yes,” she nodded quickly, caught off guard by the sudden question directed towards her.

Yukariko had been surrounded by history her whole life. She lived at a historic shrine where the buildings dated back hundreds of years. Some of the artifacts housed in those buildings were even older. Still, she had never given history much thought until now.

Yukimasa’s appearance had changed everything.

The answers Yukariko now found herself grasping for were all in the past. She wanted to know about her mother’s life as the goddess’s vessel. When had it begun? How had it affected her? Her whole family tree could potentially tell her everything she needed to know. How far back did the goddess’s influence go? Had all the men always been ascetic monks like her father and grandfather? She wished she hadn’t turned down Yukimasa’s offer to look into her grandmother. She could have already had some of the answers she was seeking. Maybe she would have already decided whether or not she would take her mother’s place as the goddess’s vessel.

As Mrs. Takeda had said, she couldn’t change her future for the better until she knew her past. She needed to know... but the real question was how would she find out?

~*~

Mrs. Takeda drove Yukariko home around seven thirty. It was earlier than she had expected to go back but the sky was already pitch black as if it were much later. The mountain road Yukariko took back and forth from school each day seemed strange and unknown covered in shadows outside the unfamiliar car.

“It was nice to see you tonight, Yukariko,” Mrs. Takeda said, watching the road in front of her. “Kousei never seems to invite his friends home. It was a treat to have you. And I’m glad Kousei didn’t mess anything up with you when he confessed. I’m very sorry. I thought I had taught him better than that. I hope he at least had the decency not to blurt it out somewhere public and embarrass you more. He wouldn’t give me many details.”

Feeling awkward with the topic at hand, Yukariko turned her gaze out the window. She had never imagined herself talking about Kousei’s confession with his mother. In fact, it was one of the last things she wanted to do. Unfortunately, there was no way to escape the conversation while they were in the car together. She could only hope Mrs. Takeda drove faster than her father and the trip would be over soon.

“He, uh, brought me to the science hallway during lunch break.”

Mrs. Takeda nodded. “Well, that’s something I guess.”

They drove in silence for a few minutes and for a while, Yukariko felt like she had gotten away without having to say anything else on the subject. But then the woman began to speak again.

“I admire you for turning my son down,”

Yukariko finally turned her head away from the window. She hadn’t expected Mrs. Takeda to say anything like that.

“It’s good that you’re strong and independent. Too often, girls your age think that they need boyfriends to be worth anything. It’s not their fault for thinking that way either. It’s what they’re taught they should do. It’s easy to fall into the roles society creates for us. It’s harder to do what’s best for yourself. You seem to know what you want and you don’t seem to be afraid to do it. That’s a good thing. Do you want to go to college, Yukariko?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. She had never thought that far before. “But I want to go to a high school somewhere in a city, not here in town.”

It was the first time she had admitted her plans out loud to anyone beyond the school’s guidance counselor. Even her father didn’t know. Yet somehow, it didn’t feel strange to tell the woman next to her. Now that it was just the two of them and they weren’t talking about Kousei, Mrs. Takeda seemed like a completely different person. For the first time, Yukariko could see how she had managed to move herself and her two young children half way across the country and begin a second, completely different life on her own.

“That’s a great idea,” Mrs. Takeda said, nodding. “I think you’ll like the city. It’s a big change from here, though,”

“I know,”

“Let me know if you ever need help with anything. I’d be happy to give you advice or help you study for the entrance exams. Anything you need. Just stop by.”

Yukariko was struck by her kindness. It was true they had known each other for years now but this was still the first time they had talked on such a personal level.

“Thank you,”

A few minutes later, they pulled into the shrine’s parking lot. When the car stopped, Yukariko gathered her things and opened the door.

“Thank you for dinner.”

Mrs. Takeda smiled. “Thank you for coming. And so you know, that invitation to stop by my salon wasn’t just for your mother. Your hair is like a stylist’s dream. It’s so long!” She let out a small laugh. “Come by anytime and I’ll give you a trim for free. It’s important to keep long hair like yours healthy.”

“Thank you,” Yukariko fingered her long braid thoughtfully. She had never even stepped inside a salon before and her hair had always seemed healthy enough to her. But the idea of a trim sounded rather nice. She had grown used to the weight of her hair’s length over the years. She wondered how much an inch off the bottom would change things.

“Maybe I will sometime,”

“I’m at the store Tuesday through Saturday,” Mrs. Takeda told her. “Come in anytime.”

They exchanged their final greetings and then the car drove off, leaving Yukariko in the darkness of the unlit parking lot. Once the taillights disappeared beyond the trees, she began to pick her way back to her house behind the shrine.

For anyone else, the walk down the stone path under the darkness of night probably would have been near impossible. But Yukariko had grown up here and knew every stone by heart. While she did carry a small flashlight in her schoolbag for times like these, she didn’t bother to take it out. The quiet night was relaxing after the loud cheerfulness of Kousei’s house.

“Who was that?” asked a young, male voice from somewhere in the gloom.

Yukariko screamed.

“Hey! Hey! It’s me!” the voice said hurriedly. A second later, a flashlight clicked on to reveal Yukimasa standing on the path a few yards ahead of her.

“What are you doing here?!” Yukariko demanded. She clutched a hand to her heart to steady its furious beating. This was the last place she had expected to see Yukimasa. After all, he was the one who had asked her to keep their meetings secret from her father and grandfather.

“As a fellow ascetic monk, I’m here to worship on your sacred mountain,” Yukimasa explained calmly. “Your father has been kind enough to put me up in the pilgrim lodging for the time being.”

“I thought you wanted to keep this all secret,” she hissed back at him. What was he planning?

“I do,” He shrugged. “But you seem very dedicated to your afterschool activities. I didn’t want to take you away from them if possible. I thought this would make things easier.”

“Make what easier?”

“Seeing each other,” he replied, sounding as if this should have been obvious to her. “Talking.”

Yukariko rolled her eyes. By now her fright had subsided and a feeling of exasperation had taken its place. He had moved into the shrine’s pilgrim lodgings so that they could talk. Of course. She had a sneaking suspicion that more than talking, he just didn’t want her to forget about him or the goddess.

“Fine. What do you want to talk about?”

 “Have you thought more about becoming the goddess?”

At least he wasn’t wasting her time.

“Not really,” Yukariko admitted. “I’ve been busy. And what’s the actual point of becoming her now if I’ll eventually have no choice in it? Shouldn’t I try to lead a normal life for as long as I can?”

Yukimasa frowned. Obviously this wasn’t the answer he had been expecting.

“Don’t you want to help your mother?”

“You made it sound like it’s her choice to keep being the goddess’s vessel. If she really couldn’t handle it anymore she’d pass it onto me.”

“Do you know her well enough to know that for sure?”

His tone was light but the words hit home. Yukariko stared at him in the dim glow of the flashlight.

No, she didn’t know Sakurako well enough to guess what the woman would do if it came to sparing her daughter’s future or saving her own. How could she when she barely saw her mother twice a year and each visit lasted no more than an hour? But in that respect, why would Sakurako risk her life for a daughter she barely knew? There was no way of knowing what choice Sakurako would make if it came down to one or the other.

Yukariko bit her lip. “Give me another reason to become the goddess.”

Yukimasa’s response was automatic. “You’ll potentially have the power to change the world.”

She raised an eyebrow, unsure if she believed him. “That’s a big jump from just helping my mom. Why didn’t you mention that before?”

“All you wanted to talk about was helping your mother,”Yukimasa pointed out.

Before she could say anymore, there was a shuffling sound from further down the path. A moment later, Hiroshi came into view, holding a second flashlight.

“Yukariko?”

“Here, grandpa.” She raised a hand although the motion was more or less useless in the dark.

Hiroshi’s footsteps slowed as he came up to Yukariko and Yukimasa.

“Was that you who screamed?” He looked at her in concern.

Yukariko frowned. She had forgotten about that already. “Uh, yeah. I was walking back to the house in the dark and Yukimasa surprised me. I’m fine.”

Hiroshi glanced at Yukimasa for a second before turning back to his granddaughter. “I’m sorry. I should have been out here to meet you so that I could tell you he was here. I didn’t know when you were getting home though. This is Yukimasa Sagara. He’s a monk like your father and I and he’s made a pilgrimage to the shrine. He’ll be staying with us in the pilgrim lodging for a while. He only came this afternoon.”

With one introduction done, Hiroshi moved his attention to Yukimasa. “Yukimasa, this is my granddaughter, Yukariko. She was having dinner with a classmate this evening.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Suzuhara,” Yukimasa said, giving her a polite bow.

Yukariko returned the bow as she knew her grandfather would expect. It felt silly going through pleasantries with someone she already knew though. “How do you do, Mr. Sagara.”

Hiroshi nodded in approval. “Well, it’s getting late and I’m sure you’ve had a long day, Yukimasa. I hope Yukariko didn’t scare you too badly while you were out for a walk.”

“Not at all, Hiroshi,” Yukimasa said, shaking his head. “In fact, I was just apologizing to her for giving _her_ a fright. She didn’t know I was here. I doubt she was expecting to run into a stranger on her way back to her house,” He chuckled.

Yukariko wondered if he was laughing at the scream she had let out or the fact that he had just called himself a stranger.

Hiroshi chuckled as well. “Very true, I’m sure. Good night, Yukimasa.”

“Good night, Hiroshi,”

Hiroshi stepped forward and put an arm around Yukariko’s shoulders. He led her back towards the house, shining his flashlight onto the ground in front of them. Yukimasa stayed where he was, watching them go.

“That was an unfortunate way for you two to meet,” Hiroshi admitted after they had been walking for a minute. “But he’s a good young man. You don’t have to worry about him being around. He’s trustworthy.”

For a moment, Yukariko considered telling her grandfather the real reason for their guest’s sudden visit. That way he could decide for himself how trustworthy Yukimasa really was. But then she decided against it. She had already given the old man enough of a scare that night with her scream. She didn’t to cause any more trouble for him right now.


End file.
